Little Girl Goes Primal

I've been on and off diets since I had heard of the concept. My parents are, in general, health nuts. I played sports in high school, mostly volleyball, and spent my offseason at the gym. I've been going to the gym (and lifting!) since I was a freshman in high school. My mother tried everything: Atkins, Weight Watchers, you name it. She would consequently impose these concepts on me. I remember there was a few good months where the only carbs in our house were "Atkins" pita bread pockets. My dad was blessed with the metabolism of a horse. To be fair, as he got older, he pretty much stopped eating. Here is my father's daily diet: a bowl of cereal with coffee for breakfast, a soy mocha at Starbucks, one or two pieces of fruit during the day, and dinner. So reading that makes it seem healthy and all, but I don't think I know one college student that can sustain themselves on two pieces of fruit between the hours of 10 AM and 6 PM on a regular basis. Yeah, don't kid yourself. Except when I go to make a sandwich, it's pretty much guaranteed that I hear "are you sure you need to eat that?" This does wonders for my self esteem, I swear. I think the worst it ever got was around my junior year of high school. I had transferred to a boarding school and knew no one. The school was absolutely awful, not challenging or really welcoming in any way. I made friends with a girl who had also transferred that year, who had the interesting ambition to become a news anchor. She was about 4'11" and curvy. Knowing she could never be on television with her body, she had come to adopt her own eating style; in other words, she didn't. Eat, that is. As she and I grew closer and realized we had similar body issues, we became each other's enablers. We each had our own vice; hers was french toast or something, mine was the dining room cupcakes. Knowing each cupcake was about 500 calories, I would go weeks at a time where my daily diet would be a cup of cereal in the morning to get my going, water all day (surprisingly suppresses your appetite for a few good hours), and a cupcake. That was it.

Obviously that is nowhere near healthy eating, and after leaving the school for my senior year, I thankfully realized it. That was about the time my mom was trying Atkins, so I joined in. It actually worked for a little while, but I remember thinking it was so weird that as long as you don't eat the bun, you can order a bacon cheeseburger. That did not seem healthy either. As most people know, it was really only a matter of time before Atkins became linked to all sorts of cholesterol/atherosclerosis problems. At this point I was about 5'3" and weighed around 145. My weight, that stupid number, had always bothered me. Even to this day, I can tell myself it's all about muscle mass and fitness level and whatever, it still bothers me. After my first year two years in college, I gained about 10 pounds, and was up to 155. However The summer going into my junior year I was living with my boyfriend at my house. I was all excited, because I could once again go to my gym, take the classes I liked, cook for myself, etc. I didn't realize how comfortable I had become in my weight range. I got a free health assessment with my registration, and while I laughed when the trainer gave me all their bullshit spiels about how I should pay for personal training and take supplements, I was genuinely shocked at my BFP (around 30%) and what it indicated. I hit the gym hard, starting to go 4-5 times a week for over an hour at a time. That wasn't so crazy, and felt good, but didn't see many results. I decided the next step was to try a lo-cal diet. If Calories In < Calories Spent, you lose weight, right? So I started logging everything, aiming for less than 1000 during the week, and 1200 on weekends. Well, I dropped down to 146 at my lowest weight, but was moody and upset at everything. I almost ruined my relationship because every little thing would set me off. It wasn't until I went back to school and adopted a normal eating schedule that I realized what eating so little had done for me. That led me to probably the most upsetting realization: if I have to eat less to lose weight but I am absolutely miserable when I do so, how will I ever lose weight?

Fastforward over a year later and a friend shows me this blog, Mark's Daily Apple. I immediately become fascinated; a lifestyle that focuses on what the human body is built to digest with workout recommendations that seem more fun than tedious? How are all these success stories really true? Instead of questioning why it may not work, this little girl has decided to give it a shot. Today is my first day of eating primal: first step, try to replace the grains I have come to rely on. Breakfast was a piece of fruit, lunch was eggs scrambled with leftover meatsauce (surprisingly delicious), and for a snack I had some nuts and dried cranberries, and a few slices of ham. Ideally I'd probably eat less fruit, and more veggies, but I think for day 1 I'm doing okay. My goal is in generally to have less than 100 g of carbs, and so far I'm at 59.4. Assuming I'm going to have a meat and veggie based dinner, I'm pretty sure this goal won't be too hard. While I realize I may not be able to incorporate the exercise routines into my daily life (thinking for when I go back to college), I know that with a little commitment I will be able to eat better. Who knows? At least I'll learn some awesome recipes along the way. I'm extra happy today because I get to go to a kickboxing class that I haven't attended since last summer tonight. Good workouts plus improved eating habits; Here goes nothing!