Little Girl is a captain!

This year, I am fortunate enough to get to be a captain on what is very arguably the best women's ultimate B team in the nation. It doesn't hurt that I happen to be pretty knowledgeable about the sport of Ultimate. After spending as much of your free time reading articles about how to perfect the mark, practicing pulling, and seeking out advice from those more experienced and more skilled than I, I feel as if I have earned the right to teach the next generation of ultimate girls. That, I suppose, is a good thing, as having no coach means the captains take on a teaching role. Also, as the only senior (though technically not the oldest player) on the team, I feel that if anyone should be telling others how to play, it should be me.

So of course, I'm terrified. What if I instill poor habits in these young, new players (e.g. incorrect throwing form, poor timing on cuts)? What if I get frustrated because things that come so easily to me now are so hard to get others to do (e.g. holding a force, running a proper zone defense)? I really wish I remember the moment where I finally understood how to execute certain tasks. For example, when was the time when I added kicks to my mark? How did it occur to me to even try to do that? Who did I hear from/watch and mimic to get such an idea?

After being on the team for 3 years, I've seen a variety of teaching styles. My freshman year was all about negative reinforcement; I distinctly remember a practice where our coach was so upset that we weren't running hard that we ended practice with an indefinite amount of "suicide" sprints. We ended up doing 25 total, and every 5 or 10 she would say something like "oh, you just dropped the disc! Your turnover means you have to run more!" Perhaps it was because of that year's team dynamic, but I'm not sure how effective that actually was. My next year was a little different, as I spent most of my time working my ass off to become an effective handler. I had spent my rookie season being a "fill," so didn't really touch the disc that much. Sophomore year, I had to learn quick, and became one of our primary handlers starting at sectionals because our two best had decided not to attend. Even then, I had women that had played for 4 years already to look up to and give me advice, so I'm not sure how much the coaches really did. In fact, both of our coaches that year had played as handlers, so I think they spent most of their time trying to figure out how to effectively teach the cutters, leaving us novices in the hands of the grad students on our team. I can't say I believe I was taught anything especially well my third year on the team. Midas only had one solid coach at this point, and he was very into sugar coating all the mistakes the team made. Every response was "it's okay, keep running hard!" I personally do not respond very well to such an attitude; if I mess up, I want to know why and how to fix it. So I started finding information on my own. I began reading articles and seeking out help of older players to perfect new skills. I learned how to pull on my own (which actually ended up being incredibly important as I was one of two players that could do so and pretty much pulled 90% of our points at Sectionals and Regionals). I researched about lifting and started going to the gym on my own. I got faster and stronger, and by the end of the season was able to endure playing almost every point of the series. I just had to. There was no option. Consequently I grew furious at the lack of effort of some fellow teammates: how dare they complain about not getting playing time when I spent every possible waking free moment at the gym or extra practice? Going into spring quarter, before sectionals, the coaches met with every player to give feedback on the season so far and advice for the future. The advice I received was to work on not "tunneling" in to a player (indeed, good advice), but mainly, to work on my attitude. It was too negative and bringing down the team around me. Later that night, after a good cry, I lifted up my chain and vowed to change my attitude. I ended up as MVP that quarter, being lauded not only for my skill and dedication on the field by my commitment to positive thinking for my team.

I know I'm ready for this challenge. My goals for the year are simple: improve as a leader and role model, and get my team to Regionals. Midas deserves to be at Regionals, and not because of some bullshit like last year (we placed 9th at sectionals, there were 8 bids to Regionals, the team that beat us in the game-to-go decided they couldn't afford the trip, so we went in their place). That was easily the lowest point in my ultimate career.

Quick tangent: Midas and SLO have quite the history. After a poor spirited game at some winter tournament my second year, it became our goal to beat them every time in the future. We beat them on universe point at Sectionals, and on universe point again at Regionals. I also had what is to date my most memorable play ever in that game at Regionals (I was lucky enough to get it photographed, and kept it zoomed out because I think the picture is just pretty in general).I jump up to receive some crappy dump pass (the wind was pretty intense in CO that year, for those that remember), bend backward to sky the shit out of this girl, and as I come down she basically shoves me in the back, and I get up and immediately state "Foul!" in her face. She grumpily concedes. We score. Success.

Anyway, ever since then, Midas and SLO have been at odds. Our games are always really intense with questionable calls on both sides. So here comes our last game of Sectionals. It was the game-to-go, and we had had a long, hard fought day. (Won Game 1 against UCSD-B 15-8, Won Game 2 against Occidental 12-7, and Won Game 3 against Redlands 12-6). The scores definitely do not reflect the fact that our starting 7 sat around 5 points total over these games. Anyway, we're on a winning roll, and we're pumped. We start off the game strong, going up 5-1, then 7-3. We're a point away from taking half, but we're obviously a little worn out. They come back and take half 8-7. I remember going into our huddle thinking "we just have to bring the energy back up! We can do this!" I ask the captains if I can give a speech, and they let me, and I probably have never spoken so passionately about ultimate before this moment. Everyone nods, smiles, heads up, and we have a great cheer. We lost the game 15-8. After three separate drops in the endzone, and around the time the score went up 7-12, the coaches pulled me. I think I played the last point, but I basically ran off the field crying.

I have never been so upset as losing that game. That will never happen again. And if it does, it won't be because my team didn't work their ass off. While I have my personal goals for this season, my main goal for the team is to impart the same love for ultimate that I have in all of them. I want my teammates to want to give their all for the same cause that I believe in, to rally back from what seem like sure losses, to make sure that we cause turnovers, and don't rely on the mistakes of others, to respect every opponent for who they are and to beat them by playing our best, and to celebrate every victory as equally as the others. I know that only then will I be genuinely content with whatever the season's outcome is, but for now, I'm just excited for the journey.